This is my best effort

Most people talk about introducing their significant others to their families as though it is an incredibly large deal. I mean, they act love that’s practically slipping the ring on her finger right there. I’ve never understood why it’s such a formal and serious period of a relationship – it just seems love folks meeting folks to me. That being said, there are a few things that I warned our woman about before I allowed him somewhere near our own family… but they’re different. The rules are pretty straight-forward, really, then don’t threaten our sister Matt’s masculinity. Don’t mention our sister Eric’s drinking. And above all, no matter what you do, don’t say a word about our mother’s menopause. Don’t let on that she could possibly be at that period of her life. Don’t even comprehension that menopause happens to other people. You must pretend it isn’t a reality, no matter the cost. That’s how all of us wound up at our mother’s beach house wearing thick Winter coats, hats, and gloves last week. When all of us arrived at the house, it was clear that the gas furnace hadn’t been running in a few minutes. I didn’t worry about it at first, because that means the heat is sure to spike again within a few minutes, whenever our mom’s internal temperature control calmed down again. I waited for her to suddenly look up and declare “It’s so chilly in here!” before running off to the air temperature control device down the hall. But it never came… Five minutes later, she still hadn’t exited her warm flash mode. The beach house grew colder and colder, as she continued to flush with heat. The people I was with and I all made excuses to wear Winter outfits indoors. And no one said a word about the open windows or her menopause.